Icky, Icky, Bacteria

While on vacation when we were at one of the national seashore beaches, one day the toll rangers were dancing and singing as they waved people through.  It was so much fun and we really appreciated their drama.  The next day at another national seashore beach we were turned away by some very serious rangers because of some bad water bacteria and not allowed to swim there.  Anna and I thought it would have been more effective and way more fun if they would have danced the news to us.  So Anna and I made up a song and dance routine in honor of the icky bacteria. We must have danced and sung this catchy little tune hundreds of times by the time we got back home.  Here are the Klima-Thelemarck Family Singers performing the vacation hit - "Icky, Icky, Bacteria" at long beach on Cape Cod.  We have no shame in this family when it comes to bodily functions - or singing about them for that matter.

Four

Thoughts about Parenting

Summer does wonderful things to the soul.  This is clear by how I feel and how the family around me shows up each day.  Eyes wide, eager, fully there.  I can't say enough about how amazed I am by what a little sun, the wide horizon of the ocean, and true family vacations can do for you. 

Also, I have been with the boys so much since school let out in June.  That's a lot of time together.  The marvelous thing about this is that I love this.  I had a vision the other day at the dinner table,  of the four of us sitting around having dinner when the boys are teenagers.  And I was struck by such an eager feeling.  This is one good life we have and I believe it will continue to amaze. 

Which leads me to my recent thoughts about parenting.  Quite honestly, there are so many books, thoughts, opinions, and reactions to parenting these days that one could get lost (and I have at times) in the shoulds of how best to raise your children.  And I suppose there are many moments in which I could have been a better parent, and I suppose at some point I might have regret (for a fleeting moment I hope,) but all in all, I feel deeply happy with my children and my family.  In fact, I sort of feel more than that.  At times I feel wildly elated about our life together.   I remember being young and having my eye on the future...the future that held my own family and children.  I remember as I watched others with their kids, and found my own values around childhood and parenting I was eager to have my own.   I remember the deep sense of loss I felt when I came out and feared that this dream would be lost.  And then I found Anna.  I suppose that is why I feel so much joy, so much gratitude.  I have this family, my family - evolving daily into what we all would like it to be.  Filled with joy.  Filled with love.  Filled with excitement and kindness.  Filled with eagerness to experience all that life brings.   Filled with thoughtfulness.   Filled with an eye for beauty.  Filled with connectedness and relationship.  Filled with humor and even a bent for the weird.  Filled with confusion and learning - because there are many times when Anna and I don't know what the hell we are doing and wonder how best to respond to a new development in our boys lives.

I know that one thing I would like to have a little less of (and we are getting there!) is less anxiety.  As a new mom (and perhaps an over confident "wanna be mom") I was shocked at the anxiety I experienced.  Who knew that this love for my boys would raise my fear level to a new height?  I didn't - that is for sure.  But slowly, and with great support, both Anna and I have come together to tackle head on any of our fears...sometimes blindly figuring things out, sometimes intuitively taking a stab, and other times holding each others hands as we try something foreign, yet decidedly good for the kids.

And at this moment in time - I feel like throwing every parenting advice book to the wind.  Because I think my family is thriving.  Because I think what matters most in the world, is that you are present with your children, that you play and allow them as much room to play as possible, that you create a cocoon of family in which all of you can take refuge.  That you live - and I mean really live - so that your children can understand the importance of being awake in this lifetime.  And this we do well.  Yes, we have work to do.  Yes, our boys can grow and mature in ways that would be beneficial to them.  Yes, Anna and I have to do this as well.  But that is our journey.   We have come together, all four of us, with our strengths and vulnerabilities.  And as a family I want us to nurture our strengths, minimize and support our frailties, and of course live and love big.  For this I feel deeply convicted.  I am passionate about this life we have - this life with boys.

Summer Faces

 Summer boys of mine

outside nearly every hour

soaking in the sun

Four

                                       

Our four hands are here

grasping, placing, digging in

So much to do at the beach

Ocean

There is nothing like the ocean.  Nothing.  And as far as I am concerned, there is no greater place to take your children than the ocean.  I believe it is the combination of sensual experiences that is so valuable.  Every sense is active, engaged, and busy.  Smell, touch, taste, sound, sight, and of course the sixth sense - which I think is pretty close to enightenment.

We are home now after a week at the ocean and I am going through photo after photo, and there is absolutely no way I can choose which are the best - there are simply so many photo's that are amazing.  The kids look alive, vibrant, healthy, engaged, and of course the world around them looks equally gorgeous.  The collage above just gives one a sense of exactly what we encountered daily...pebbles, water, rippley sand, and wavy sea grass.  All of it simply exquisite.

One Sun, Hundreds of Seals, and Two Boys

We are at the cape for a week on vacation, and I am simply in love with the ocean. I am also in love with family vacations. We have been having such an amazing time time and we are all just bubbling over with happiness. It is lovely what being outside all day long on the shore can gift us. Each day we have picked a beach adventure, and we seem to consistently stay for about four hours before we have all had enough sun.
My favorite of the beach expeditions has been High Head beach where all the seals hang out. It's pretty much the most amazing place - sand dunes, seals by the hundreds, and we tend to be the only ones there early so it feels like we are the only inhabitants. The boys climb, jump from, jump into, and slide down the sand dunes. It's magnificent. This time we also collected crab body parts and reassembled them in a pattern heading back down to the water. Call it crab sculpture.
The boys would probably say Marconi beach was their favorite because of the wave jumping. Anna took them out and both boys were ecstatic. Kuba was so excited about the strong waves, that as we were holding hands and jumping together, he shouted "You're just Judith! Come on Judith, let's jump!" He was hysterical - both excited about and in awe of wave power. Personally speaking, I am not the brave mother. I will easily stand at the shores edge holding hands with Kuba as he jumps, but I am not confident enough to enter the rolling wave area and body surf like Anna and Anders do.
Anna would most likely say she liked Herring Cove. The gay beach where there are many other two mom families and kids playing on the shore. I think this is exciting too - for my boys to see lots of other gay families playing in the sun. Actually - it's probably mostly us that likes it, as the boys are pretty much still oblivious to most of the world around them. They still are simply all caught up in play.
We also love the bay side of the cape at low tide. First encounter beach in Eastham is really great for collecting hermit crabs, razor clams, furry crabs, snails, and other sea creatures. Plus, at low tide the water and landscape is stunning.  The boys spent hours collecting little live ocean things, and then returned everything to the sea. Kuba always starts out a little fearful of touching things, but soon enough he is over it and holding everything in his own two hands, just like Anders. He just doesn't hold things quite as long. We have been collecting rocks daily and sorting them on our cottage picnic table....round flats, egg shaped, spotted, smooth green-gray, and totally awesome (really amazing rocks) have been our groups so far. We must have brought home hundreds so far.

Other highlights:
Anders lost his brontosaurus at the beach and was heartbroken.
Spiritus pizza, which Kuba has described as "The best pizza in the world, better than his friend Gus, cotton candy, ice cream, his brother and even better than his moms!!"
Driving remote cars down a beach path.
Visiting the Provincetown library which has the giant ship in it.
Amazing lightening storm.
Kuba retelling his dreams each morning. This morning he recounted "Do you know what's cool about dreams? You can pull someones arm off and they don't die. Last night I pulled a little girl's arm off and after she just pulled my hair. She didn't die."
Anders unbelievable strength and confidence in the ocean. Physically he is so capable and has been totally into learning how to navigate the enormous ocean waves as well as the force of the undertow. (with Anna by his side)
Scanning for sharks! There have been shark sightings this summer.
No sunburn....and Kuba saying - "You know what's my favorite part? Getting sunscreen on. I betcha didn't know that."
Bike riding on the Cape Cod Rail Trail - miles of biking, swimming at Nickerson pond, and then getting ice cream.
Walking the rock jetty at the very tip if the Cape at dusk! Thrilling, thrilling, thrilling. Forty-five minutes each way of jumping from giant rock to giant rock until we reached the end. We saw many great blue herons and got to watch the tide roll in.
Both boys waking up in the morning singing an "I love you so much" song that they made up for each other. It was about the most beautiful thing ever!
Watching the boys play together. They make up so many games, and are always singing crazy made up songs in the back seat of the car. They have also been playing a lot with Go Fish cards this vacation.
The fact that we have been here at the cape so many times now as a family that we actually know our favorite places and things to do.
Flying kites at Long beach.  Poison Ivy on the way to long beach. 
Anna and I making up a park ranger song and dance called "Icky, Icky, Bacteria" after we were asked to turn around at Race Point due to bacteria.
Art projects:  crab sculptures, rock sculptures, body painting, sand sculptures, birthday present clay ball making, skit and song writing,  and more that I can't think of. 
Basically - if I could capture this vacation in one word it would be family.  It was absolutely the most fun family time ever.   I can't wait until we go again. 

Don't Push the River

I am in awe of Anders comfort with the water - and deep water at that - this year.  He really got comfortable last summer, took a lot of swimming lessons this year and it's amazing to watch him now.
This is a lesson for me, trusting that he will get to where he wants to be.  I remember two summers ago when Anders was dying to swim, but still had some fear about going under, getting his face wet, jumping in, etc.  He would run around the outside of my sister's pool while his friends were swimming and playing inside the pool.  He was circling like a little puppy, so eager to play, but so afraid to dive in.   And here he is at seven.  More than comfortable.  I would like to apply this lesson of faith in him to all of the other things I am still afraid of for him, and trust that in his own time, he'll be ready to leap.

Two Moms, No Dad....but wait!

Anna overheard this conversation in our backyard at the fence between the boys and some kids from their school who were with a baby sitter.

Friend - "Can we come in your yard to play?"

Babysitter to Anders and Kuba - "Are your mom and dad there?"

Silence

Babysitter again - "Can I talk to your mom and dad?"

Kuba to sitter in a happy go-lucky tone - "Well, we do have one dad.  He's a stuffed animal."

Okay, as an alternative family with two moms and no dad, these moments are priceless.  Listening to my kids navigate typical questions like this is new.  Kudos to Kuba for taking a question that doesn't really capture his family and finding a way to answer this with his own creative Kuba twist on things.     

Patriotic Boy #1

Sparklers; you have to have them on July 4th.  Anders had a ton of fun dancing with them as they sizzled and crackled.  Kuba had a lot of fun singing crazy tunes to Anders sparkler dance...too afraid still to hold one himself.  Just wait until he's 5, I think then he'll be both singing and dancing right along side Anders.   And I had so much fun making little movies of their sparkler experience. 

Patriotic Boy #2

Anders and Kuba both LOVE LOVE LOVE decorated sugar cookies from a local bakery that truly specializes in beautiful cookies.  These are lively, colorful, well decorated, and there is always a selection of animals (my kids almost always want an animal.)  This time there were patriotic stars in celebation of Independence Day.  Anders always chooses "the biggest one" regardless of shape or color.  Kuba always delights in the most adorable one.  But this time, I choose stars of red, white, and blue as a surprise for the boys - because they weren't with me. 

July - Beautiful!

Today I was looking back at the blog.  I am amazed that it has already been 7 years since I began this project for the boys.  I notice that I go in and out of writing more, writing less, and I have to admit, I like it when I write more.  If I write more, I think later on in the future it will give a better sense of what life is like now, when our family is young.  At four and seven years of age, I am finding the boys to be more and more interesting.  They have so many ideas, so many thoughts, SO many emotions. My boys are very emotionally strong.  They feel everything and especially Kuba is not afraid to let you know what that feeling is.  At this point in his development, his moods seem to flash like lightening, a clear signal as to what is going on inside of his little being.

I want to capture right here, right now, how very happy I am.  I love this family more than I can even describe with words.  It's the small, yet full moments of gratitude that I am speaking about.  Like eating supper around the dinner table; it's fun, filled with humor and silliness, and often maddening.  And, I am deeply aware of how much I love just being with this crew.  Kuba hasn't quite learned to stay in his seat throughout the whole dinner.  Anders for some reason keeps eliminating foods from his diet....we are down to cherry tomatoes for vegetables, mac and cheese, hot dogs, and rice (this is just a bit of an exaggeration - but you get the gist of what I am describing.)  And most days, conversation at the table is often just plain old fun and filled with story.  We are always working on ways to have better manners, to stay in our seat, to keep our elbows off the table, but quite honestly, I'd rather have a lot of fun than be tight and mannerly. 

It's summer, and there is something spectacular about July.  The big sun, the hot days, the swimming, the blue, blue sky, and these beautiful boys.  Honestly, I am so often completely satisfied and bursting with happiness.  This seems to happen one hundred times a day in July, much less so in the dark winter!   Today we are having a gathering of friends for a potluck Fourth of July celebration, and tonight we will watch the fireworks.  It is totally fun and mad down on the waterfront on the third.  I think we are heading straight into this again...last year we were down there as well and it felt as if the fireworks were falling, floating down on our heads.  I bought sparklers, poppers, and glow in the dark bracelets for tonight.  Usually we have a neighborhood parade (which I have posted about in previous years) where the kids get to decorate their bikes and head around the block in a big, kid, bike parade.  I have to say, I miss it this year!  Our friend - who spearheaded the event moved to a new neighborhood - and it is a true loss in this neighborhood to have them gone!  We are going to have to step it up next year if we want to continue the parade tradition. 

More summer updates later, and Happy, Happy, Fourth of July!