Ordinary

 or·di·nar·y  

/ˈôrdnˌerē/

adjective                                          with no special or distinctive features; normal.

Noun                                                    What is commonplace or standard.

Synonyms common - usual - regular - normal - habitual - customary I have challenged myself for the 31 days of July. Each and every day I will photograph and write about an ordinary aspect of the boys life.   Nothing special, nothing distinct, just normal everyday things.  It's June.  I have 11 days to get inspired.   It's summer so I feel like I'm already on my way.  I want to capture this ordinary life for Anders and Kuba -  simply record the mundane. Also, I noticed my blogs have been getting slim and I want this blog to be a record for them.  So, this is my challenge to myself.

Family Meeting

We try really hard to have regular family meetings.  And we begin them with appreciations. Everyone gets a turn telling everyone else something they appreciate about them.  It's very sweet, and surprisingly hard to do.  Anna and I sometimes talk about this beforehand so we are ready with some affirming appreciations that reinforce values we want to instill and teach the boys.   We want our appreciations to be a bullseye for each kid. 
We often appreciate one or the other for how helpful and kind they are to each other- emphasizing the powerful and positive relationship they have with each other. We also focus our appreciations on independent behavior, helpfulness around the house, positive social behavior, etc.  Things we want them to grow more of - using the appreciation tool as a way to notice internal traits and tendencies that are loving, kind, strong, resilient, etc.  At first when we started these meetings the boys would say they appreciated "our good stories" or "I love you" over and over as they learned how to give an appreciation.  Now they are surprisingly endearing and beautiful in their appreciations.  

At the meeting we also tackle problems that come up during the week.  We have the kids write or draw their problems in the family meeting notebook and save them for family meeting.  This helps to get us- the parents -  out of the problem solving seat and puts it right back at them. The photo is a problem that Anders wrote down. Usually by the time they get to the family meeting, their problems have solved themselves, or if the problem remains they solve it and we write down their solution.

After this they choose a job from a list...things like feeding the cat, getting the mail, unloading the dishwasher, etc.  They keep this job until the next meeting.  And finally at the end (and all of this takes place in 15 minutes) they each get a "contribution" of one quarter per year of age.  So Anders gets $2.00 and Kuba gets $1.25 each meeting.   This part they love, but they also totally love receiving their appreciations.

We have tons of fine tuning to do with our family meetings.   Figuring out how to hold them accountable for doing their job without nagging or reminding, remembering to get them to write down their problem instead of instantly helping with it in the moment.  And remembering even in a busy schedule to have the meetings!  But, still - it's a great tool and the boys really love it. 

Enthusiasm

 

The fun continues as we make our way through spirit week at school.  Favorite color day, crazy hair day, mix n' match day, pajama day, and tomorrow is the final day of the week and it's  IAA t-shirt day.  Anders has met each and everyday with an enthusiasm that is unmatched.  He has had so much fun and I loved his excitement.  I think there is real magic in enthusiasm. Still, each morning as he approached school he had a minor surge of panic fearing he might be the "only one" in pajama's, with crazy hair, and wearing a strange combination of clothes.  As soon as he saw one other kid in gear he was good to go.  Spirit week even makes me happy.   

 

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.
Bruce Barton

Struck Gold

We are in the home stretch to the end of the school year.   Two weeks, exactly 9 1/2 days to go....and YES we have been counting for weeks now.   Spirit week begins tomorrow and tomorrow is wear your favorite color day.  Anders' favorite color is gold.  Clothing doesn't really come in gold and Anders certainly doesn't have anything gold to wear.  SO....brainstorming led us to the idea that he could paint his clothes.  After a trip to Goodwill and the craft store, he set off painting and spray-painting his entire outfit.... a t-shirt, shorts, socks, and an old pair of sneakers,  GOLD.  Yes sireee!  He'll be the goldest, most spirited boy, with the stiffest most toxic smelling clothes on,  in school tomorrow.   But he'll have spirit, that's for sure.  And quite honestly, if we could bottle his enthusiasm about this we could be millionaires.    Gotta love this boy! 
  

I Am From the Orange Door

I am from the orange door and the barn,

I am from the apple tree in the back yard,

the red and orange tulips whose long gone petals

I remember as if they were my own,

I'm from a together and close family, from Hannah and Lea,

 I'm from eating cereel and doing my homework,

 I am from my tooth brosh, from flossing and water. 

I am Anders.

 

This Spring Anders' school embarked on a pretty incredible photography project.  A local arts organization hired a photographer to photograph the entire school.  It's a pretty diverse school with over 30% of the population from other countries; refugees who have fled their home countries to find safety and a better life here in the United States.   The school also happens to be in the poorest section of town and about 60% of our population receives free or reduced lunch.  We also attract families and students from though-out the city because of our focus on the arts - graphic designers, architects, artists, writers, and  dancers who want an arts based educational experience for their children.  You can imagine the spectrum of our demographic.  The photographer for this project tried to reflect the visual beauty and the diversity of all 300 students.   Teachers in the school had their students write about themselves....and the writing paired with the photo is profound.  The individual handwriting and the word choices were just as poignant, just as revealing as the photograph.  I love Anders' piece so very much. 

 



Abominable Abdominals

It's been a very long week.   It all began last Friday when Kuba came down with some ugly stomach bug and was awake most of the night....he woke up on Saturday seemingly better.  That is until about 4 pm.  The cycle of hell returned and  he was up all night writhing with stomach pain.   Better and well enough on Sunday to eat French toast and take a trail hike.   Until about 2 pm.  Again, severe stomach pain and a visit to the ER where they just sent us home to watch and wait.  Sleepless night and more vomiting.   Monday came and left with a trail of wakefulness, and Tuesday followed.  Anna and I were walking ZOMBIES.  Finally on Tuesday he fell asleep at a reasonable time and slept for the first time through the night without moaning, tossing, turning, or vomiting.   Wednesday arrived and Kuba was TA DA....BETTER!!!   And then Anders came home from school....with stomach pain.  Vomiting boy round 2.  Sleepless night round 5.   Exhausted moms round 2 million.   Thursday, no school and lots more vomiting.  Anders did manage to sleep that night and woke up today a bit better.   He is asleep now and I am so hoping tomorrow is a brand new sun shiny day!

One of a Kind