I recently joined a writing group - and daily I am given a prompt to respond to. The prompt I responded to here was ... Hmmmm, tell me what happened here. I used a favorite poem of mine for inspiration and then wrote about my experience of mothering.
This is my piece.
Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that I had a beehive...
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.
•Antonio Machado
Hmmm...you would think that after ten years of practice you would become quite skilled. Many hours, days, weeks, months and years of practice. Mistakes made, up again on your feet brushing, hands against fabric, wisk.
Hmmm...you would think that a heart's desire fulfilled would instill a strong confidence, an inner sense of strength and ease. But not quite that exactly. Certainly moments of that, but more often than not the realization of how little you really do know, the humble confession that you are more often flat on your face than striding jauntily.
Hmmm...there is the truth of tenacity, of perseverance though. The absolute conviction of love, the kind of devotion that propels you forward, no matter how many times you fall. The mama lioness that proudly carries her cub, impervious to anything other than that sheer and true attachment. Devotion at its best. Sweet honey.
Hmmm...certainly a mystery without a sure ending. Layer upon layer of opportunity: to see, to breath, to accept, to let go, to pray, to bow head down on bent knee as tears of gratitude flow, to see such brilliance in their eyes. god, staring back at you over and over again, just asking for your faith.
Hmmm...it is a paradox for sure. The best and most difficult journey. Providing space for the unfurling, the right spot of sun, the nutrient dense soil, the coaxing, the whispers, the calling, the noticing, the hope, the worry, for these sweet, sweet children of mine.
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