The Greatest Risk

I recently had to write a short piece on the greatest risk I have ever taken. I decided to post it below.

The greatest risk I have ever undertaken is the choice I made when I decided to become a parent. I know I didn’t define it as being a “risk” at the time, but in retrospect I now fully understand just how much of a risk it was. After the birth of my first child I knew almost immediately, and beyond any doubt, that I had entered a very mysterious journey. I willingly, gleefully in fact, jumped off a very steady and known ledge and into the unfamiliar place called motherhood. Risk could be an understatement when describing this choice.

I must tell you that the reason I chose this topic to write about was due to the word “greatest” in your request. I have taken many risks in my life, and many of them were mighty. But becoming a mother has been without equal. I love being a mother. I say this with depth and integrity, and with the full knowledge that by making this choice I have opened myself up to the possibility of unimaginable heartbreak and heartache.

I have wanted children all of my life. In fact, there were two things I have wanted since I was a small child. One of them was to be a teacher, and the second was to have a family of my own. Fortunately, both dreams have come true. I was older than most women when starting a family, but this never entered the equation when choosing to create my family. There is risk here, because my life had become so familiar and steady, and I didn’t quite know how parenting would change that. Also, my partner would be the birth mother, and I the second parent. This too was a big risk. A two mom family is certainly not the norm in our culture, and there are lots of unknowns as to what will present itself to our family as we grow. Yet, this didn’t sway my decision either. I had a happy and stable relationship, secure employment, and a small but sweet home in Burlington. And so, I dove in head first. I can’t imagine it being any other way.

My eldest son is now three years old, and my youngest, six months. They are phenomenal children; healthy, bright, and wondrous. The past three years have been unbelievably satisfying, and the learning has been great. The internal strength that develops when one is asked to parent is extraordinary. My relationship with the entire world has shifted. I have found the world to be unbelievably kind and welcoming to my family. And when it is not, I have found myself to be a solid and resilient advocate. My ability to communicate, empathize, and relate to the world around me has increased tenfold. The connections I feel to all families and all children have intensified. This has affected my teaching as well, as I now look at each child with the eyes of a mother.

Joy welcomes me each day when I wake up to these two beautiful boys. But joy isn’t alone. It greets me each day alongside responsibility and exhaustion. I have never felt so aware of being so needed. I have never felt the weight and importance of making decisions not only for oneself, but for others as well. And this choice, the choice to raise happy and thriving children is a powerful one. It shapes my life. Still, with all of this responsibility and all of the risk that comes with it, comes the most incredible gift of all- the biggest, most amazing love one can possibly know.