I found out tonight after a mammogram and ultrasound that I have cysts. Nothing more. For about a week I was suspended...not sure how to proceed while I waited to find out more. I imagined the worst case scenario which is absolutely unimaginable -breast cancer. I couldn't quite believe that I had "cancer" because I feel completely 100% fine (if not better than that) and I found it impossible that this would actually be true.
Yet, there was that chance.
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 52 years old. I just turned 50.
I worried that perhaps genetics was at hand here and that it was time for me to follow in my mom's footsteps. (turning 50 really makes you think deeply about the value of this life) My mom is now 84 years old and doing very well thank you, but still fear is a powerful emotion and I was doing my very best to keep it at bay.
So suspended I was, partly calm and partly holding my breath.
And all I could think about was my family. (Hence the last post about love.)
I just can not imagine not having a long life with my two incredible, adorable, amazing and lovely children.
And now, right now, I am back to a real hallelujah about this life, this lucky life I do indeed have! And reaffirmed in the commitment I made to myself to make this one life I have as big and full as possible.
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