Thursday, February 21, 2013

Anders






I like to write about my boys on their birthdays.   It gives me a chance to reflect on the past year, think about the growth and evolution one year makes in the life of a child, and provides an opportunity for me to sharpen my appreciation.   I also get to reset my internal parenting compass so that it is lined up with their soulful little selves.   They lead, I follow, so to say.

Eight.   Amazing really to think that Anders is now eight years old.  I was looking at baby photographs of him and was overwhelmed by the joy and absolute crazy love we all had when he was born. 
WHAT a baby, what a boy!

He remains absolutely as beautiful as he was as a baby.  He also remains a real observer.  As a baby he would stare at people - never offering a smile freely.  He was curious, interested, yet thoughtful.   He made people earn his attention and his affection.  In some ways I guess he is still a little like that.   He doesn't give it up easily.  His temperament remains reserved and discriminating.

He is unflappable at school, a doer, a happy soul, an even keel kind of boy who seems to like the structure and predictability of a classroom.  He is a great student.  He is diligent about getting homework done even if it's not always so very enjoyable.  I admire his commitment to his work.  This year his reading, writing, and math abilities have skyrocketed.  His teacher is working on helping him to articulate his voice, hold his own, and take a stand for what he believes.  He's a mutable sign and following, versus leading, is what is so natural for him.  His teacher also let us know that when it comes to kinesthetic moving and drama, Anders is unabashed, not afraid to let it loose, and can be quite the ham.  Yes.  quite a multi-faceted character he is. 

He is a loyal, very loyal friend.   If you make his cut list, you have hit the jackpot.   Friends are very special, very meaningful to him.   At age eight his "best" friend is still Hazel.   But he also loves a new friend at school, Ben, and always considers Finley, Junie, Walker, and Julian his other favorite friends - even if they are not in his class this year.  He is also a very loyal big brother.   His affection and his love for his brother is something that I feel grateful for every single day.  Not a day goes by without this love between them BRIMMING over the top. 

If he's had a learning curve this year it really has been about independence and social behavior.  He is less shy; more capable socially, more willing to speak out, talk to strangers - hell, even more willing to talk to folks he knows well.   Great.  This is good learning for him.  If I've had a learning curve this year it's been to have great faith in him-to believe that the skills he needs he will gain in time.  I have been learning how not to "push the river." 

Athletically he is very strong, but likes the kind of sports that involve the strength of his own body - climbing, swimming, hiking.   Not necessarily team sports or ball sports.  This summer his swimming skills and his comfort in the water took off.   He also took a climbing class and is doing an outdoor adventure class.  All up his alley. 

He is a good boy this boy of mine.   A very sensitive very smart, very sweet soul. 

It is my greatest hope that this year, his eighth year is full of joy, humor, love, growth, and confidence.  Anders you are one of the most awesome boys in the whole wide world.  I could not love you more.

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