Ordinary

 or·di·nar·y  

/ˈôrdnˌerē/

adjective                                          with no special or distinctive features; normal.

Noun                                                    What is commonplace or standard.

Synonyms common - usual - regular - normal - habitual - customary I have challenged myself for the 31 days of July. Each and every day I will photograph and write about an ordinary aspect of the boys life.   Nothing special, nothing distinct, just normal everyday things.  It's June.  I have 11 days to get inspired.   It's summer so I feel like I'm already on my way.  I want to capture this ordinary life for Anders and Kuba -  simply record the mundane. Also, I noticed my blogs have been getting slim and I want this blog to be a record for them.  So, this is my challenge to myself.

Family Meeting

We try really hard to have regular family meetings.  And we begin them with appreciations. Everyone gets a turn telling everyone else something they appreciate about them.  It's very sweet, and surprisingly hard to do.  Anna and I sometimes talk about this beforehand so we are ready with some affirming appreciations that reinforce values we want to instill and teach the boys.   We want our appreciations to be a bullseye for each kid. 
We often appreciate one or the other for how helpful and kind they are to each other- emphasizing the powerful and positive relationship they have with each other. We also focus our appreciations on independent behavior, helpfulness around the house, positive social behavior, etc.  Things we want them to grow more of - using the appreciation tool as a way to notice internal traits and tendencies that are loving, kind, strong, resilient, etc.  At first when we started these meetings the boys would say they appreciated "our good stories" or "I love you" over and over as they learned how to give an appreciation.  Now they are surprisingly endearing and beautiful in their appreciations.  

At the meeting we also tackle problems that come up during the week.  We have the kids write or draw their problems in the family meeting notebook and save them for family meeting.  This helps to get us- the parents -  out of the problem solving seat and puts it right back at them. The photo is a problem that Anders wrote down. Usually by the time they get to the family meeting, their problems have solved themselves, or if the problem remains they solve it and we write down their solution.

After this they choose a job from a list...things like feeding the cat, getting the mail, unloading the dishwasher, etc.  They keep this job until the next meeting.  And finally at the end (and all of this takes place in 15 minutes) they each get a "contribution" of one quarter per year of age.  So Anders gets $2.00 and Kuba gets $1.25 each meeting.   This part they love, but they also totally love receiving their appreciations.

We have tons of fine tuning to do with our family meetings.   Figuring out how to hold them accountable for doing their job without nagging or reminding, remembering to get them to write down their problem instead of instantly helping with it in the moment.  And remembering even in a busy schedule to have the meetings!  But, still - it's a great tool and the boys really love it. 

Enthusiasm

 

The fun continues as we make our way through spirit week at school.  Favorite color day, crazy hair day, mix n' match day, pajama day, and tomorrow is the final day of the week and it's  IAA t-shirt day.  Anders has met each and everyday with an enthusiasm that is unmatched.  He has had so much fun and I loved his excitement.  I think there is real magic in enthusiasm. Still, each morning as he approached school he had a minor surge of panic fearing he might be the "only one" in pajama's, with crazy hair, and wearing a strange combination of clothes.  As soon as he saw one other kid in gear he was good to go.  Spirit week even makes me happy.   

 

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.
Bruce Barton

Struck Gold

We are in the home stretch to the end of the school year.   Two weeks, exactly 9 1/2 days to go....and YES we have been counting for weeks now.   Spirit week begins tomorrow and tomorrow is wear your favorite color day.  Anders' favorite color is gold.  Clothing doesn't really come in gold and Anders certainly doesn't have anything gold to wear.  SO....brainstorming led us to the idea that he could paint his clothes.  After a trip to Goodwill and the craft store, he set off painting and spray-painting his entire outfit.... a t-shirt, shorts, socks, and an old pair of sneakers,  GOLD.  Yes sireee!  He'll be the goldest, most spirited boy, with the stiffest most toxic smelling clothes on,  in school tomorrow.   But he'll have spirit, that's for sure.  And quite honestly, if we could bottle his enthusiasm about this we could be millionaires.    Gotta love this boy!