The Sandwich Generation

The sandwich generation  is a generation of people who care for their aging parents while also raising their own children.  This describes me, I am sandwiched between my parents and my boys, both who need care and attention.  I don't quite know what I expected life to be like when my parents moved to town, but I don't think I expected it to be quite as difficult as it has been. Surprise!  There is so much to elder care.  I don't think I quite understood, nor still understand, the dynamics of the aging process and the effects it has on the emotions of my parents - and their caregivers.  I am astounded at the difficulty they are experiencing as nearly everything physical begins to betray them....vision, hearing, feeling, walking, independence, you name it, it's changing dramatically.  The loss of this independence is deeply painful, even perhaps confusing for my parents.   Their reliance on us is clear, as is their need for care, love, optimism, kindness, patience, patience, and more patience.  I must say it's hard to be in the middle.  Often, I feel frustrated, impatient, and begging a part of myself for just a bit more generosity - so I can be a better caregiver.   It's not so easy.   I have much to learn about how I can manage this better.   And about how to not be so hard on myself, or my parents and kids, while I fumble and learn.