LAKE ICE

Clearly it was frozen enough to walk out on.

It was transparent, with streaks and lines and bubbles. 

It was beautiful.

 

Dia!

Every once in awhile an experience comes along that is so visceral it changes you.  

This has been true for me each time I have been at Dia Beacon.   

Perhaps it is the architecture, or perhaps it is the sheer size of the spaces; certainly it is the art, stunning and powerful for sure.  There is something ineffable about being there with Anna and the boys and having a communal experience of profound beauty.  Without a shadow of a doubt this museum evokes the strongest and most satisfying bliss I have known.  And yes, it is that moving. 

 

 

 

 

Cousins

The boys met their brand new cousin this week - Kaj Campbell Thelemarck!  

Yet Another Birthday

 

We celebrated Burlington's 150th birthday today by participating in a lantern parade down Church Street accompanied by the fabulous Brass Balagan - a radical Burlington street band with a feisty spirit!    ABSOLUTELY fun and wonderful.  Kuba and I made lanterns a few weeks ago and the boys waved and waved their lanterns along with a whole gaggle of other lantern wielding souls.  We also took part in a 150th year group photograph on the steps of City Hall.   February is certainly the month of birthdays!

 

 

 

 

 

Ten!

 

When Anna and I were deciding what to buy Anders for his tenth birthday we landed on a brand-new bike.  So, the day before his big day, Anna took Anders to a local bike store and told him the plan.  Anders had another plan that didn't include a bike.  So, the bike idea was scrapped and then and there they decided to carry on with Anders preferred gift idea and to not tell me until after the deed was done.  Right after school on his birthday they set off to get this very special birthday gift.  He so wanted me to be surprised, which I think added to the utter and complete joy he felt.  I was so curious and tried prying - but everyone's lips were sealed.  Three citizens with a birthday secret.  HA!  I just love that.   I happened to be home preparing for his family birthday dinner when they returned.  They made me close my eyes, plug my ears and look away.  I could hear the boys scurrying up the stairs and I could make out the sound of rustling paper.  When they came down and asked for a large pot, I begged Anna (who was in the kitchen with me) for reassurance that it wasn't another turtle or a fish or something else that involved water and the cleaning of a filthy tank.   She assured me of that.

And then he made us all wait....until after dinner....to show us!  All nine of us had to close our eyes and cover our ears while the boys ran upstairs and brought the gift down.   Imagine the sound: excited voices, running feet, something heavy, and TA DA!  We opened our eyes to a see a large aquarium filled with wood shavings, a spinning wheel, a straw woven hut and a cute little furry gerbil.  A GERBIL!   Not a bike, nor a bird, fish, dog, or hedgehog!     Nope, an adorable gerbil named Tenzi.    My even more adorable son chose a pet for his tenth birthday, and I couldn't be more happy for him!  We are still debating the dog idea in this family so the gerbil is not a substitute.  Stay tuned for a dog story sometime in the future, because I am sure that is going to happen eventually.   I think I'll know about that one though, right from the get-go. 

 

 

 



On the Eve of Ten

On the Eve of Ten

The boys have just headed up for the night, this night, the eve of ten for Anders.  I feel a variety of feelings as I type...this bittersweet feeling of being happy to see Anders grow up and feeling sad to see him taking yet another step away from childhood.  He is on that cusp of adolescence.  

I've been sorting through thousands of pictures, searching for photo's that capture his childhood - birth to ten.  I made a birthday movie for him.  There are so many photographs of him, so many moments captured.  He is truly a beautiful child.   It was remarkable to look back - so much experience, joy, and openness.   The weird thing is that it feels so long ago and like yesterday at the very same time.  I am struck by the good fortune he has had.   I know this more than ever after a search like that.  Love poured out of every photograph.  The history of holidays, birthdays, vacations, ordinary moments, and extraordinary moments.  The hugging, the family, the friends.  Our house and home in all it's stages of settling and unsettling, remodeling, and security.  Toys, art making, nature, animals that have come and gone.  Close-ups of him, feelings and expressions that run the gamut.  One thing I know for sure, my son is cherished. 

I created this blog when Anders was just six months old.   At first I was fearful of the "internet" and every so often I would print and then delete the pages from that original blog - keeping them for a book one day.  Finally, I just let go and kept the blog intact.  It is a marvelous journey, this life with Anders.  I know that I am a better and happier person because of him.  He has brought such meaning to my life.  By joining us here on this planet he has shaped us into a family that is rich with heart and soul.  He reminds me to wake up, be present, think big, be patient and love well.   I am not a writer, but I can tell you about my love for him.  It's enormous and strong and forever.  

Tomorrow - when he awakes as a ten year old, I'll greet him like I always do.  And carrying his birthday tray, I will give him the best gift of all, my steady and unconditional love.   And then together as a family of four we'll enter the next decade of life with Anders. 

Valentine's Day

Warm and Cold at the Very Same Time

                   

 

We had a birthday party for Anna yesterday, February 7th, outside on the ice,  near a big rocky wall and a limestone sea cave.  The cave was part of the Champlain Sea, a sea that once covered this part of Vermont over 10,000 years ago.  The snow was deep on the ice - perhaps about 7 inches deep.   We shoveled off a section to create a nice little ice rink and we built a fire nearby.   The bonfire was big enough for us to roast hot dogs and marshmallows on.  The chocolate and lemon cupcakes we brought were nearly frozen by the time we ate them, but there was something strangely enjoyable about eating a cold cupcake out of doors, in the twilight, with a group of friends.   Anna turned 47 this year and she's had one hell of a year.   I so wanted her to have an extra special birthday.  Her dream come true party is always something in the winter snow.  She grew up having outside birthday parties - either at her home or at her camp in the Adirondacks.   So, to honor her memory and desire for something outside,  we planned this surprise for her.   Though, by mid week I was questioning my ambition.   By Friday I changed the location to make it closer to home...which made a world of difference.   So, in spite of the cold and snow,  lots of friends came.  The  kids had fun in the sea cave, climbing logs, skating, examining a dead frozen bat, sliding down rock hills and then eating hot dogs and cupcakes.    The grown ups had fun hanging out, drinking wine, brandy and hot cider.  Sparklers were sizzling as we sang to her.  I think we made Anna very happy.  We also learned that there is something absolutely thrilling and heart warming about gathering at dusk, in the cold winter, on the ice,  with a wonderful and loving group of friends.   



The Musicians in my House

The boys started piano lessons in September, so five months of lessons brings you this kind of joy. 
Anders is playing Classic Dance, followed by Kuba practicing Grandmother.    Adorable all the way around.  Impressive as well, because I cannot even read music let alone play anything even close to this.  Their beautiful kid hands and fingers mindfully reaching for and playing the notes makes my heart swell.   Sweet, sweet, sweet.