These boys of mine....

are so darn cute!

Grandma!

Anders drew the above picture of my mom and he pretty much captured her. Bright red hair - even though at 86 we know it's most likely pure white even though we've never seen anything but that copper red head. Green eyes, glasses, earrings - yep, that's her.

I also posted a photo of Grandma playing with Kuba in his fort. Even though she is very old now, she will still crawl on the floor with my children to play. This I can not be more grateful for. I am so happy that my parents are playful. They've always been and always will be. Anders and Kuba define my dad as "silly grandpa." Of course, this description always comes with laughing and gleeful, shining eyes.

I miss my parents. And I mean this more than the literal translation. I miss my parents - the ones I grew up with, the ones that had unbelievable energy and spunk and vitality. The ones that could see, hear, walk with ease, and play. They are so fragile now. And even though my mom crawled on the floor with my son, I know that how she plays with him, compared to how she played in the past is very different. Yet, I am still grateful. I am glad that the boys have this opportunity to experience their very dear, very old grandmother ...who can hardly hear them, often misunderstands them, yet loves them to death. And they know it.

ps- I love the exclamation point Anders put after her name. It sums it right about up.

I'm Ready to Read, Oh Yeah!

I'm Ready to Read!

Check out this amazing video of Anders teaching Kuba a song he learned in school.

Late Night Musings

I often wish I could remember all of the fabulous and funny and weird things my kids say at night right before they fall asleep. It's so darn good and I always think I can remember it, but nearly always I forget.

But tonight I remembered...

Kuba was up rolling around, restlessly avoiding sleep and he had a lot of things to say. Here's what I recall:

"Mommy, I love Bingo and Eli and Eggy so much (his imaginary friends.) Today at the table they were pretending to be a piece of paper, like this. Isn't that funny, Mommy?!" He then showed me with his body by laying very straight and flat. Then, he brought his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, and said "And then they pretended to be a crunched up piece of paper like this.

Isn't that so funny Mommy?"

Yes, it is. But you my love, are way more funny than they can ever be!

Aging Parents

I sort of need to write about this.

My parents have been here for a week now, and Anna's mom just left.

We've been sandwiched between 4-6 year olds, and 69-87 year olds.

It's complicated.

My parent descent into frailty seems to have spiked and the descent seems way too rapid for me or for them. It's been very, very hard to watch as they lose more and more of their independence. Sight, hearing, touch, mobility...all rapidly declining. It makes me want to weep. And it's difficult to figure out how to help them from so far away. I spent an afternoon alone with my mom and I realized it was easier to be with my four year old than to be with her. She needed so much assistance, and simply can not hear, so a conversation with her is a lesson in patience and frustration. I have been feeling a lot through this and wondering so much about the aging process and how to do so with dignity. My parents have always been fiercely independent and capable.

At 87 that is no longer possible. The loss for my parents of this independence is simply heartbreaking. I can see how much they want their freedom...to move, to hear, to see, but must rely on others. My sister and I are figuring out the next step for them....sell their home, move where? Here to VT? To assisted living in Buffalo? To an apartment there? We are in the midst of some important and difficult decisions. And I am so deeply in love with my parents that I just want them to be here with me - and only take care of them, yet I know that is an impossible decision. I will have so much more to write in here about this because I think that this year will be a very important one.

Family Gratitude List for 2011

A- Anna , Anders , art, animals, apples

B- Beth, Bingo, birds, books, the barn, the blog

C- Cathy, our Chickens, our adopted cat, computers, cheetahs, creativity, christmas trees

D- Dragons, dragon parades, dinosaurs, Denise & Dominic

E- Eli, Eggy, having enough

F- Fun, firetrucks, family, friends, fishtank, fools, forgiveness

G- Grandma & Grandpa, gymnastics, the color gold, growth

H- Hazel, our home, horses, Hannah, health, hiking

I- Ice cream, imagination, Kuba's imaginary friends

J- Judy, Jakob, Jacob, Jamie

K- Kuba, kangaroos

L- LOVE, Lea, learning, lions

M- MorMor & MorFar, milk, mistakes, music

N- Nice people, nests, neighbors, our New car

O- Owls, the color orange

P- Peace, people, playing store, parades

Q- Quiet, queens

R- Remote helicopters, remotes in general, reading

S- Shelburne Farms, Shelburne Museum, Sandy, swimming, our scooters, Sweden, the color silver, snakes, no more stuttering

T- Tops, TV, tigers, turkeys

U- Uncles (Claes, Paul, Tim, Peter, Mark) Umbagog Lake

V- Vacations, vegetables

W- Walking to school, wind, the woods

X- X-country skiing

Y- Yogurt, the color yellow, YMCA

Z- Zebras

Two Thousand Years and Twelve

From yonder o'er

irrepressibly creative

here comes the dragon

It's the Chinese year of the dragon, and my boys love dragons. They've loved dragons and dragon lore for a few years now, so I feel a strong connection with this year of the dragon.

In fact, I've been waiting for it.

Here is what I have found out about dragons and dragon years:

Dragons are the free spirits of the Zodiac.
Conformation is a Dragon's curse.

Rules and regulations are made for other people. Restrictions blow out the creative spark that is ready to flame into life. Dragons must be free and uninhibited.

The Dragon is a beautiful creature, colorful and flamboyant. An extroverted bundle of energy, gifted and utterly irrepressible. Everything Dragons do is on a grand scale - big ideas, ornate gestures, extreme ambitions. However, this behavior is natural and isn't meant for show. Because they are confident, fearless in the face of challenge, they are almost inevitably successful. Dragons usually make it to the top.

Adjectives that describe the dragon: innovative, enterprising, flexible, self-assured, brave, passionate, tactless, scrutinizing, unanticipated, quick-tempered.

May this year for all of us be full of creative, irrepressible dragon energy.

May my beautiful children be gifted with this confident creatures fearlessness. I wish for them a brave and uninhibited year, full of joy, creativity, laughter and of course, fire!

Happy 2012 Anders and Kuba!