Sunday, January 25, 2015

Ugh.

We had a family meeting tonight.  We love our family meetings and haven't had them regularly for a few months.  It was a great meeting, full of appreciations, and then problem solving.   I named the first problem, which was tone of voice.  All of us at one point or another use a sassy tone of voice and it feels bad.  The boys have gotten into a bad habit and I think Anna and I too can sometimes sound severe.  Their solution to this problem was to go closer to someone and look them in the eye if you have to tell them something, so you don't have to repeat yourself and then resort to a sassy or irritated tone when they don't respond.   We asked if there were any other problems.  And here's the ugh.   Kuba said yes.  He said he felt like I yelled at him every day.  First of all, I'd like to say how much security he must feel that he is able to articulate this out loud.  And of course, I don't feel like I yell everyday.  But, from the mouths of babes (and a babe's perspective,) is the most important view point.  I probably do "yell", considering what I just said above.  I would describe it more as irritation.  Because I do get so irritated each morning when I try to get them out of the house on time for school nearly every day.  There's the first bit of "yelling" I do.  But I am sure I "yell" more than that when I have to repeat myself.  The interesting part of this is that I introduced problem number 1 so we could talk about how they respond (we all respond) when asked to do something...we usually respond in a sassy tone.  That sassy tone usually makes me mad, and I end up going down a rabbit hole, leading to his problem, number 2.  A mad me.  It was a great meeting tonight and although it stings just a little to hear it, he told me something I need to listen to.  I don't want to be known for my yelling.  I am determined to pay attention to this and catch myself before I go down that slippery slope of irritation.  Oh, and sometimes in this life with boys, I am going to yell.  But if I listen well, not everyday. 

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